April Fools'

By Bob Smiley

April Fools’ Day is a holiday when it’s totally fine to pull pranks and make up stories. Politicians love this day! I’ve pulled some great pranks over the years. The best one was two years ago when I called my dad and told him I’d gotten a real job! He fell for it instantly and shouted, “Finally! No more telling jokes for a living!” Then I told him I was only joking . . . and I was about to remind him that it was April Fools’ Day, but our phones got disconnected.

My dad used to pull pranks on me all the time. He once told me a $50 bill was hidden somewhere under the leaves that were leftover from the fall, just to get me to rake. I raked that field for two days before he finally shouted, “April Fools’!” And when I was in college, Mom and Dad moved and didn’t tell me. I finally found them — a month later. I love the Internet!

All that to say, I feel like I know a lot about pranks and this particular holiday. With that in mind, I’m proud to offer you . . .

Bob Smiley’s Tips for April Fools’ Day:
1. Remember it’s the day of tricks, so you don’t get fooled. I once asked a girl out on April Fools’, and she said, “Not even if you were the last man on earth!” I told her that if I was the last man on earth she wouldn’t even be allowed in line. Of course, I didn’t say this until a month later when I thought of it. Later I remembered that it had been April Fools’, and she obviously was pulling a joke on me. In fact, she did such a great job that she even threatened to take out a restraining order! But then she never remembered to tell me she was joking, which leads us to the next tip.

2. Let people know you pulled an April Fools’ joke or else it could go on forever. For instance, the president of Starbucks once jokingly said they were going to call their smallest cup a “Tall,” the middle size a “Grande” and the largest cup a “Venti” which, when translated from Hebrew into Pinkoneese, means “Ha Ha! April Fools’!” Then he forgot to tell his employees that he was joking before all the menus were made. And that kind of thing happens all the time. In fact, that has to be the only explanation as to how the TV show “Wife Swap” got on the air.

3. Make sure the prank is not something that’ll hurt someone. If you’re going to pull a prank, remember that you’re a Christian first and a prankster second. Before pulling a prank, ask yourself if you’d mind having it pulled on you.

Follow these rules, and you’ll have a fun April Fools’ Day! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go outside and watch my two boys look for a $50 bill!


Now, on a slightly different note:

Interesting read. You might find out why there is such a Holiday we all know of, but never knew why. Now you know the rest of the story.

Atheist Holiday ... Love this one!

Clever!!! Would be nice to have more judges like this.
This is probably one of the best emails this year. Have you heard
about this case? Great answer from the judge!

In Florida , an atheist became incensed over the preparation of Easter
and Passover holidays. He decided to contact his lawyer about the
discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded
to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while atheists had no holiday
to celebrate.

The case was brought before a judge. After listening to the long
passionate presentation by the lawyer, the Judge banged his gavel and
declared, 'Case dismissed!'

The lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said,
'your Honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? The Christians have
Christmas, Easter and many other observances. Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur
and Hanukkah...yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!'

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, 'Obviously your
client is too confused to even know about, much less celebrate his own
atheists' holiday!'

The lawyer pompously said, 'your Honor, we are unaware of any such
holiday for atheists. Just when might that holiday be, your Honor?'

The judge said, 'Well, it comes every year on exactly the same
date---April 1st! Since our calendar sets April 1st as April Fools Day,
consider that Psalm 14:1 states, 'The fool says in his heart, there is no
God.' Thus, in my opinion, if your client says there is no God, then by
scripture, he is a fool, and April 1st i s his holiday! Now have a good day
and get out of my courtroom!!'
(I didn't write this)


~Ellentia