Recently, I have heard about a lot of strange things people do that have become trends (or at least one person has done it a reasonable number of times with a good public reception), both irl and online, so I thought I'd catalog a few of them for entertainment purposes.
Tiger Selfies - Apparently this is a thing guys are doing for dating website profile pictures? And it's enough of a problem that NY passed a law to try and prevent it.
Pet Piercing/Tattooing - I truly feel bad for any pet that has to go through this for "design purposes."
Lava vs. [insert canned food item] - This is such an oddly specific trend, I have no idea how or why it became a thing.
Red Hot Nickle Ball vs. [insert thing] - The funny thing is, these are all pretty uniform. Drop in RHNB, Thing bursts into flame. Presumably releasing chemicals that bring us a little closer to mass chaos resulting from global warming.
Mercury Experiments - Although I know this is dangerous, it is really fascinating.
Flower Beards - Exactly as described.
ASMR Role Play - Kinda creepy, almost relaxing. Mostly creepy. 3/10, Would not watch again.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Friday, November 07, 2014
Thoughts on Sadness and Loneliness
It seems like sadness and heartbreaking events come in waves, and I think that's usually because once one thing happens that breaks your heart a little, you start to recognize everything else sad and lonely that was already there before. And eventually things move forward, and everything is ok again.
But right now, it seems like everything sad and heartbreaking is punching me in the face, and my heart is full to overflowing with sadness and loneliness. A week ago tomorrow, my amazing great-grandmother passed away, and I thought my heart was going to break. Yesterday a man I worked with a few summers ago passed away, and that really hurts too. Tom Magliozzi passed away. My dear friend had a family member pass away. This semester, 2 people in separate incidents were beheaded in my state. A resident in my area died in a drunk driving accident. I follow HONY on fb, and it seems like most of the pictures this week capture just how broken humanity is. Death hurts. But death is the inevitable end that we all face, no matter how good or bad, happy or sad, full or empty our life was.
Matthew 5 is simultaneously confusing but encouraging, because I'm not feeling too blessed right now as I mourn the loss of several dear people, and I'm not feeling overly comforted either. But in my head I know that I am not alone in my sadness; Jesus wept over the loss of a dear friend (John 11), and his love for those I've lost far exceeds my own love for them. His heart breaks for the brokenness in our world, because it's not how he planned it. But even though we all mess up daily and live in a hurting world because of our sin, I have hope and confidence that one day there won't be any more death, pain, or sadness to live through (Revelation 21). I cannot imagine dealing with death without this hope, because without it, death is extremely final. I know that grieving takes time, and healing will come, but I don't know how much more sadness I can face right now.
The result of all this sadness is to exacerbate the loneliness I've been feeling this semester. I'm older and busier than most of the people I see regularly, and thus I'm not really good friends with many of them. I pretty much never see most of my friends from freshman and sophomore year, because they've all graduated, moved, or are (like me) too busy to do much hanging out. And I'm also at that awkward point in life where a lot of people my age are in serious relationships, getting engaged, and getting married. I'm not exactly sitting around pining away for my "Prince Charming," but it's weird to feel like the only one not dating or married. Because when friends start talking about the future and their relationships, I have nothing to contribute to the conversation because I can't relate to that part of life. Living far away from home doesn't help, either. I miss my parents and siblings so much, and I hate that I miss most of my brother's soccer games and my sister's dance/theater performances, and I feel like I still only barely know my sister-in-law. I want to be able to spend time with all these people!
I know that this is a super selfish train of thought, and I'm trying to remember that there are so many people going through sadness and loneliness right now, and they need just as much love and comfort as I do. And I know that this is just a period in my life, and in a very short amount of time it's going to end, and I'm going to move on to something totally different. And I know that while I feel lonely and sort of friendless, I actually have many loving and supportive friends who have made me food, cried with me, and generally cared for me the last few months as Memmie's health was declining and her life was drawing to a close. I am so grateful for these people, who don't care that my face looks stupid when I cry a lot, and don't care that I'm being really selfish and having a pity party. I am blessed, I am loved, and with support and a loving God, I will make it through.
But right now, it seems like everything sad and heartbreaking is punching me in the face, and my heart is full to overflowing with sadness and loneliness. A week ago tomorrow, my amazing great-grandmother passed away, and I thought my heart was going to break. Yesterday a man I worked with a few summers ago passed away, and that really hurts too. Tom Magliozzi passed away. My dear friend had a family member pass away. This semester, 2 people in separate incidents were beheaded in my state. A resident in my area died in a drunk driving accident. I follow HONY on fb, and it seems like most of the pictures this week capture just how broken humanity is. Death hurts. But death is the inevitable end that we all face, no matter how good or bad, happy or sad, full or empty our life was.
Matthew 5 is simultaneously confusing but encouraging, because I'm not feeling too blessed right now as I mourn the loss of several dear people, and I'm not feeling overly comforted either. But in my head I know that I am not alone in my sadness; Jesus wept over the loss of a dear friend (John 11), and his love for those I've lost far exceeds my own love for them. His heart breaks for the brokenness in our world, because it's not how he planned it. But even though we all mess up daily and live in a hurting world because of our sin, I have hope and confidence that one day there won't be any more death, pain, or sadness to live through (Revelation 21). I cannot imagine dealing with death without this hope, because without it, death is extremely final. I know that grieving takes time, and healing will come, but I don't know how much more sadness I can face right now.
The result of all this sadness is to exacerbate the loneliness I've been feeling this semester. I'm older and busier than most of the people I see regularly, and thus I'm not really good friends with many of them. I pretty much never see most of my friends from freshman and sophomore year, because they've all graduated, moved, or are (like me) too busy to do much hanging out. And I'm also at that awkward point in life where a lot of people my age are in serious relationships, getting engaged, and getting married. I'm not exactly sitting around pining away for my "Prince Charming," but it's weird to feel like the only one not dating or married. Because when friends start talking about the future and their relationships, I have nothing to contribute to the conversation because I can't relate to that part of life. Living far away from home doesn't help, either. I miss my parents and siblings so much, and I hate that I miss most of my brother's soccer games and my sister's dance/theater performances, and I feel like I still only barely know my sister-in-law. I want to be able to spend time with all these people!
I know that this is a super selfish train of thought, and I'm trying to remember that there are so many people going through sadness and loneliness right now, and they need just as much love and comfort as I do. And I know that this is just a period in my life, and in a very short amount of time it's going to end, and I'm going to move on to something totally different. And I know that while I feel lonely and sort of friendless, I actually have many loving and supportive friends who have made me food, cried with me, and generally cared for me the last few months as Memmie's health was declining and her life was drawing to a close. I am so grateful for these people, who don't care that my face looks stupid when I cry a lot, and don't care that I'm being really selfish and having a pity party. I am blessed, I am loved, and with support and a loving God, I will make it through.
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Week One
Well, one week down, 16 to go. So far classes are going well, though I think I will be pretty busy this semester. In jewelry and sculpture, I have to write a statement of intent that explains the projects I plan make as well as the concept/purpose behind them, and I have to write an abstract/statement of intent for my honors thesis. For jewelry this won't be too challenging because I have a very clear idea of what I want to do this semester and next semester, because I'm working towards my senior show. Because my thesis deals with the functionality of jewelry during the Renaissance, I plan to make pieces for jewelry that are functional. I'm going to try to include small containers and objects in the pieces that blend into the overall piece, but are actually functional in some way. During the Renaissance, people wore useable, jeweled toothpicks as pendants, so I'd like to incorporate that into one of my necklaces.
Sculpture is another matter, though. I have spent all summer trying to decide what I want to do for sculpture, and I'm just stuck conceptually. I could come up with something that I know I'd enjoy making, but I have no clue what concept I'd like to represent in my work, and that's pretty crucial at this stage, especially if I decide to go on to grad school or want to display this work in a gallery. So by Tuesday, I have to have enough of a concept figured out to turn in my statement and start working. No pressure :P
My thesis is also gonna be more of a struggle than I anticipated. I'm writing a paper about the functionality of Renaissance jewelry and also making a piece of jewelry or two that are similar to the pieces I discuss in my paper. However, on Friday both of my thesis directors decided that it would be best if I used jewelry techniques that were used during the Renaissance, rather than the modern techniques that I've been learning for the last two years. So I'm gonna have to learn new techniques to finish this piece while writing a paper about it and then before Thanksgiving I have to present and defend it all in front of a live audience. They also want me to make something [small] using gold, that I must somehow pay for. I have no clue how I'm going to afford that, since it will probably cost around $500 for the gold to make even a very small ring or hair pin, and that's in addition to whatever silver I have to buy to make the larger piece. Plus whatever materials I have to buy for my other jewelry and sculpture work. I don't know if my professors understand that I'm not made of money and that my job as an RA doesn't earn any cash; I guess this is one of those times that all I can do is pray for a miracle and trust that somehow God will provide. I know in my head that money is not the most important thing, but sometimes it feels like it :(
On a happier note, I had a lovely weekend with Kendra, a good friend from my jewelry classes. She invited me to spend the weekend with her and go see God's Not Dead at the drive-in theater in Ponca City. It's always nice to get away from my tiny room for a little while and not think about German homework or when I'm gonna find time to hang out with my residents. Sometimes I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have people like Kendra to get my mind off school for a little while!
Sculpture is another matter, though. I have spent all summer trying to decide what I want to do for sculpture, and I'm just stuck conceptually. I could come up with something that I know I'd enjoy making, but I have no clue what concept I'd like to represent in my work, and that's pretty crucial at this stage, especially if I decide to go on to grad school or want to display this work in a gallery. So by Tuesday, I have to have enough of a concept figured out to turn in my statement and start working. No pressure :P
My thesis is also gonna be more of a struggle than I anticipated. I'm writing a paper about the functionality of Renaissance jewelry and also making a piece of jewelry or two that are similar to the pieces I discuss in my paper. However, on Friday both of my thesis directors decided that it would be best if I used jewelry techniques that were used during the Renaissance, rather than the modern techniques that I've been learning for the last two years. So I'm gonna have to learn new techniques to finish this piece while writing a paper about it and then before Thanksgiving I have to present and defend it all in front of a live audience. They also want me to make something [small] using gold, that I must somehow pay for. I have no clue how I'm going to afford that, since it will probably cost around $500 for the gold to make even a very small ring or hair pin, and that's in addition to whatever silver I have to buy to make the larger piece. Plus whatever materials I have to buy for my other jewelry and sculpture work. I don't know if my professors understand that I'm not made of money and that my job as an RA doesn't earn any cash; I guess this is one of those times that all I can do is pray for a miracle and trust that somehow God will provide. I know in my head that money is not the most important thing, but sometimes it feels like it :(
On a happier note, I had a lovely weekend with Kendra, a good friend from my jewelry classes. She invited me to spend the weekend with her and go see God's Not Dead at the drive-in theater in Ponca City. It's always nice to get away from my tiny room for a little while and not think about German homework or when I'm gonna find time to hang out with my residents. Sometimes I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have people like Kendra to get my mind off school for a little while!
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Senior Year
So, I'd like to get in the habit of journaling, because it's always interesting to go back and read old posts and laugh at how silly I was, and still am :)
Today is freshman move-in day, and I'm feeling simultaneously old and young, excited and grumpy, and very, very nervous for this year. I've already forgotten things and misplaced keys and spilled coke all over the key cards, so at least I have room for improvement today! Despite having to check in all my residents and answer questions and try to solve problems, I have a clean room to stress in, which is nice. It seems as though I will have a pretty good number of freshman on my floor this year, so I am hopeful that they will be excited to come to programs and Community Council with me. This year I have to log 3 conversations with every resident on my floor and I have to have some sort of program/social every week. Ha. So that's gonna be new and busy :P
Our staff is interesting this year, because about half of it is made up of talkative, spontaneous people, (which I am not) so meetings are gonna be challenging. So far people seem to be getting along pretty well, except that I have heard multiple people express concern about one person on staff. I'm inclined to agree that they might cause problems; however, I'm determined to maintain a positive attitude and encourage others to be positive. Scheduling duty and staff and one-on-ones was stressful, but I think once we get into the swing of things everyone will calm down and get along better.
The one thing that I'm genuinely concerned about for myself is how my personal beliefs are going to affect my interactions with other staff; I am super conservative and traditional and my Christian beliefs affect everything else I believe. I'm pretty certain that no one else on staff has similar convictions, and we've already had some tense moments in [deep] conversations when we got to religion or really liberal social ideas/social justice. I know that this is the way life is, and that I have a better opportunity to stand out in a way that reflects positively on Christ when I'm surrounded by non-Christians, but it's hard and rather uncomfortable. Thankfully, I will be able to go to Navs this semester, so I will have to make sure that I spend intentional time with them every week so that I don't slip into discouragement or un-Biblical beliefs/actions. Ryan N. was on my floor for a while today, and he said kind things about me to my residents, which was nice :) I was glad to see him, and he seemed happy to see me too, so I guess not everyone at Navs has lost hope in my salvation because of Life Drawing last semester :P
I am nervous about this year, though, because I know I'm going to be busy and I also know that I'm not gonna feel like doing homework or writing papers or learning German vocab or going to ResLife events or applying for jobs or looking at grad schools. This semester I am working on my honors thesis, which means I am writing a substantial paper about the functionality of Renaissance jewelry and also making a set of functional Renaissance jewelry, which should be fun but also tiring. Next semester might be worse, though, because I'll practically be in all studio classes, with one art history class, so I probably won't ever sleep. But all that aside, it's crazy how close I am to being done with my major, minor, and honors degree! I am so excited to move on from OSU; I've had a great experience here, but I am ready for another change. I would love for that change to include moving closer to home and getting a studio, but I'll just have to wait and see. That being said, if one more person asks me what I plan to do after graduation, I might go crazy (and I know it'll only get worse).
Life is weird, people are weird; I am weird. I just hope I make it through this year intact!
Today is freshman move-in day, and I'm feeling simultaneously old and young, excited and grumpy, and very, very nervous for this year. I've already forgotten things and misplaced keys and spilled coke all over the key cards, so at least I have room for improvement today! Despite having to check in all my residents and answer questions and try to solve problems, I have a clean room to stress in, which is nice. It seems as though I will have a pretty good number of freshman on my floor this year, so I am hopeful that they will be excited to come to programs and Community Council with me. This year I have to log 3 conversations with every resident on my floor and I have to have some sort of program/social every week. Ha. So that's gonna be new and busy :P
Our staff is interesting this year, because about half of it is made up of talkative, spontaneous people, (which I am not) so meetings are gonna be challenging. So far people seem to be getting along pretty well, except that I have heard multiple people express concern about one person on staff. I'm inclined to agree that they might cause problems; however, I'm determined to maintain a positive attitude and encourage others to be positive. Scheduling duty and staff and one-on-ones was stressful, but I think once we get into the swing of things everyone will calm down and get along better.
The one thing that I'm genuinely concerned about for myself is how my personal beliefs are going to affect my interactions with other staff; I am super conservative and traditional and my Christian beliefs affect everything else I believe. I'm pretty certain that no one else on staff has similar convictions, and we've already had some tense moments in [deep] conversations when we got to religion or really liberal social ideas/social justice. I know that this is the way life is, and that I have a better opportunity to stand out in a way that reflects positively on Christ when I'm surrounded by non-Christians, but it's hard and rather uncomfortable. Thankfully, I will be able to go to Navs this semester, so I will have to make sure that I spend intentional time with them every week so that I don't slip into discouragement or un-Biblical beliefs/actions. Ryan N. was on my floor for a while today, and he said kind things about me to my residents, which was nice :) I was glad to see him, and he seemed happy to see me too, so I guess not everyone at Navs has lost hope in my salvation because of Life Drawing last semester :P
I am nervous about this year, though, because I know I'm going to be busy and I also know that I'm not gonna feel like doing homework or writing papers or learning German vocab or going to ResLife events or applying for jobs or looking at grad schools. This semester I am working on my honors thesis, which means I am writing a substantial paper about the functionality of Renaissance jewelry and also making a set of functional Renaissance jewelry, which should be fun but also tiring. Next semester might be worse, though, because I'll practically be in all studio classes, with one art history class, so I probably won't ever sleep. But all that aside, it's crazy how close I am to being done with my major, minor, and honors degree! I am so excited to move on from OSU; I've had a great experience here, but I am ready for another change. I would love for that change to include moving closer to home and getting a studio, but I'll just have to wait and see. That being said, if one more person asks me what I plan to do after graduation, I might go crazy (and I know it'll only get worse).
Life is weird, people are weird; I am weird. I just hope I make it through this year intact!
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