Can I just say that it really bugs me when people try to tell me I'm wrong? Or constantly give me instructions as if I'm incapable of knowing what to do. Or act like I can't handle something because I'm too young or "innocent". Or take over something I'm working on because I'm too slow. I think that's why I don't handle large groups of people for long periods of time very well. I don't want to be told how if I've been told before, I don't want to be treated like I'm inferior, incapable, or stupid, and I don't want people to stand over my shoulder and treat me like I'm five and keep me out of the loop because I might be scandalized. If you can tell the person next to me, you can tell me, or not bring it up when I'm right there and then whisper it in their ear.
This has been a stressful 3 days :/ Move in was this Sunday and Monday, and I've over-exceeded my people limit. I can handle working at a desk and interacting with the people in front of said desk, but working with the other people working the desk, or conversing with several people that I don't know super well, and even people I do know well, stresses me out after a while. Everyone was bumping and banging around early Sunday morning, so I didn't get quite enough sleep, and I couldn't find a ride to church. Then there was the time working behind the desk; all the desk clerks got trained together, so I know pretty much everything that the other clerks know, so it drives me nuts when they give me instructions constantly, as if I'm so stupid I can't do it myself. Ugh. Then after being around people all day, I went to dinner with a large group of people and got seated with 3 that I don't easily get along with, and I felt like all they did was disagree with me the whole night (which isn't exactly true). I mean really, I think I know enough about humidity to know if I like it or not; just because you live in Houston does not mean that you have the monopoly on all humidity knowledge!!! All of this means that I felt like crying in the middle of dinner, and had to disappear [hide] for a few hours till I could calm down.
I think if I could tell when I'm getting overloaded and figure out a good release, I would be fine; it's just that I don't have that down yet. Some people put me in a good mood almost all the time, but none of them are here yet, so I'm on my own for that. And I feel left out when I disappear, but if I don't disappear, I go crazy. I think I should just buy a tropical island and go live there, preferably one with a mountain; I'm thinking Swiss Family Robinson style. That way I'd have a beach and a mountain, it would be hot and humid (or at least not ever cold), I wouldn't have to deal with people, and I wouldn't know what was happening outside the island so I wouldn't feel left out. (I am now accepting donations to the I-Need-A-Private-Island Fund). I could also invite close friends and family to come visit if I felt like it, because if I have the money to buy the island I can prolly find a way to pay for air fare or boat rides!
But I do enjoy meeting all the new students and seeing the returning students, because there are a lot of great people! I just wish I was better at handling them [myself], so that I don't go crazy afterwards.
So now that I've said the same thing 12.378 different ways, I think I feel a little better.
